How PSO Can Help You Build a Better Marriage

What Is PSO—and Why Does It Matter?

Positive Sentiment Override (PSO) is a mindset and practice where you choose to focus on the positive attributes of your partner—even in frustrating or difficult moments. Rather than being overwhelmed by small annoyances, PSO helps you remember your partner’s strengths and the deeper value of your relationship.

When you apply PSO consistently, everyday irritations lose their power to cause major conflicts. Instead of seeing your differences as barriers, you begin to see them as opportunities for balance, growth, and even admiration.

You don’t have to be exactly the same to have a great marriage. In fact, differences—when embraced with PSO—can bring out the best in both of you.

Understanding the Role of Personality Traits

One of the most helpful tools in understanding your partner is the Big Five Personality Traits model. This includes:

• Conscientiousness (organized vs. easygoing)
• Openness to Experience (adventurous vs. routine-loving)
• Extraversion (outgoing vs. quiet)
• Agreeableness (compassionate vs. analytical)
• Emotional Stability (calm vs. reactive)

You and your partner are likely to differ in some of these traits—and that’s okay. PSO helps you frame those differences as strengths.

Real-Life Examples: How PSO Works in Relationships

Example 1: Order vs. Ease

One partner is highly conscientious—likes things neat, organized, and planned. The other is more relaxed, doesn’t mind clutter, and takes a “go with the flow” approach.

Without PSO: The organized partner feels constantly frustrated; the relaxed partner feels criticized or nagged.

With PSO: The organized partner begins to value the calmness their partner brings. The relaxed partner starts to appreciate how the structure helps bring stability to their life. They start seeing each other as a team, balancing each other out.

Example 2: Routine vs. Adventure

One partner prefers predictable routines. The other is high in “openness” and craves variety—new hobbies, weekend getaways, spontaneous activities.

Without PSO: The adventurous partner feels bored. The routine-loving partner feels overwhelmed.

With PSO: The adventurous partner invites their spouse into new experiences—gently. The routine-lover, though hesitant, finds themselves enjoying life more than expected. They express gratitude for being “nudged” out of their comfort zone.

Example 3: Introvert vs. Extrovert

One partner loves socializing and hosting; the other prefers quiet nights at home.

Without PSO: They argue about social plans. Resentments build.

With PSO: They begin negotiating social events as a team. The extrovert learns to enjoy quiet evenings; the introvert stretches their comfort zone now and then. Both feel respected.

The Core Benefit: Shifting from Frustration to Appreciation

PSO doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means recognizing that many “problems” are actually just personality differences—not flaws. Once you understand the underlying temperament, you can choose to respond with compassion and appreciation.

Here’s the magic:

• Negative moments feel less intense
• Fights become less frequent
• You recover from conflict faster
• Your emotional connection deepens

“Your partner’s differences may be the very thing that helps you grow. PSO helps you see that.” – Dr. Udo Fischer

You Can Learn to Do This

Practicing PSO takes intention—but it’s absolutely achievable. Like any healthy habit, it starts small and builds with practice. The good news? You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to be willing.

Start by asking:

• “Is this really about them—or is it just a difference in personality?”
• “What are the strengths this difference brings to our relationship?”
• “When has this trait been helpful in our life together?”

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If you find yourself stuck in frustration or conflict, know this: You’re not failing. You just haven’t learned the tools yet. And that’s where we can help.

At The Fischer Institute, we specialize in helping couples:

• Understand each other better
• Communicate more effectively
• Turn differences into strengths
• Build lasting emotional and relational health

Through our proven use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and deep experience in relationship dynamics, we’ve helped hundreds of couples in Naples, Bonita Springs, Estero, and beyond—many even through telemedicine sessions.

You Deserve a Thriving Marriage

With the right tools, mindset, and support, you can do this. PSO is not just a theory—it’s a life-changing practice. Your marriage can be more peaceful, connected, and joyful than ever before.

If you’re ready to take that next step, we’re here to help.
Schedule your session today—either in person at our Naples, FL office or from the comfort of your home via teletherapy.